I think I just saw someone hide a body.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
