We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
