i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
