Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
