I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
