It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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