Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
