how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
