I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
