We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
