I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
