It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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