you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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