im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
