This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
