dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
