I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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