North Korea, Best Korea!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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