if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
