the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
