I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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