Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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