If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
