No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
