Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
