Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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