Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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