we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize