You're completely useless in the revolution.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
