I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
