dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
