You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We are two peas in an std pod
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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