it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
