omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
