No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
