I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
