I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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