Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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