All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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