went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
