I puked a lego.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
