Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Life is so much better after having sex.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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