Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
