Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
