You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
