I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
