it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
