Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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