Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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