Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
