my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
