you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
